Support husband in Recovery from Porn Addiction

• Spend time with God in His Word and in prayer.
• Pray for him, yourself, and your children. Pray together.
• Be supportive of his recovery. Not walking away is a good first step.
• Pray before your every action.
• Study God’s perspective on forgiveness.
• Let your husband know the pain it causes you and how you feel as a woman and wife.
• Show him the possible negative legacy it could have on your children.
• Reassure him of your love without your meekness being interpreted as weakness.
• Communicate your commitment to help him recover from this addiction.
• Once he is assured of your love, you may need to help him see he is out of control and he can’t cure himself.
• Develop a plan for recovery that you both can buy into. Signing an agreement you both write up and place a copy in your bedroom closet may be helpful as you both view it daily -- consider having a third party you both trust sign it as well. For some couples -- this may seem over the top, but for others it’s an invaluable tool.
• Hold your husband accountable to his agreement to get help and counseling.
• If possible develop a Christian support group (not a gossip group -- maybe only one woman or just a few).
• Get your husband to meet as least bi-monthly with an accountability group of men.
• Regular church attendance, small group and/or Sunday School is critical.
• Begin daily praying and reading the Bible together with your husband. It doesn’t have to be long, but 10-15 minutes total for the prayer and reading. Get a notebook and make it a prayer journal for husband and you, recording your prayer requests for your husband, your marriage, kids if any, job, etc. At end of the year, see the prayers God has answered and how.
• You can’t change your husband, anymore than he can change you, but God can change both of you.
• Don’t compare your husband’s recovery to others
• Understand that you most likely will struggle with your husband’s addiction and his recovery, especially when in comes to having sex with him.
• Find a Biblical Counselor and effective counselor. Just because they say they are Christian doesn’t mean they are the best. If a counselor tells you to separate for a while, find a new counselor immediately. When a counselor tells a couple to separate for a while, ninety percent of them divorce.